An Invitation to Future Moms to Prepare for Motherhood

Hi, brides-to-be! I know that most readers of this blog are future brides preparing for their weddings and some are still single and waiting for their prince charming. But there might also be readers here who are planning to have a baby right away after their wedding so I'm extending the invitation to you to one of my future events for my latest book Breastfeeding: A Journey Worth Taking.

As I've shared many times with future brides, your wedding is only the beginning of one great adventure. It would be helpful to prepare for this adventure early on. I learned from another breastfeeding mom who shared her story in my book that she first attended a talk about breastfeeding when she was still in college. She was inspired by the talk and thought that she'd make use of her new learning in the future. Guess what? She got married a couple of years after graduation and had her first baby. And she also breastfed her child.

Thus, I'd like to invite you to the breastfeeding talk titled How to Win Over Breastfeeding Challenges. This will be held on March 29, 2014 from 1 to 5 PM at the Medela House. This is also a book signing event. All attendees will get a signed copy of my latest book. 

Let me give you a peek into motherhood with this post I wrote for my other blog at Mommy Bares All.

*****

"Is he getting any milk?"

 

"Are you sure you have milk?"

 

"Maybe your milk is not enough."

 

"Your child is already a toddler. It's time to give him formula."

 

These are some of the questions and statements that many breastfeeding moms get from people around them. And these questions can a lot of times discourage a breastfeeding mom.

 

Have you experienced being asked any or all of these questions?

 

Did you also doubt your capacity to nourish your child through your breasts when you were asked these questions?

 

You are not alone.

 

You are not the first to experience that.

 

I have also heard these questions and statements from many different people.

 

Like most first-time moms, I was easily affected by those remarks. I chose not to give up easily though.

 

By the grace of God and with a lot of hard work and sacrifices, I was able to achieve my breastfeeding goals for both of my sons. I was able to overcome the breastfeeding challenges that came my way.

 

I consider it a win every time I experience something that was initially doubted by other people.

 

For example, one of the common questions people would ask is if the baby is getting any milk from us, breastfeeding mothers.

 

Thus, I consider it a win every time I hear my child swallow milk while breastfeeding from me. I also consider it a win whenever I hear my child burp after each feeding session. Sometimes, while my youngest child breastfeeds from me, the milk from my other breast where he is not latched would squirt when he pinches my other breast.

 

All these disprove what others were saying or thinking about me and my capacity to nourish my children.

 

To date, my almost 28 month old son is still breastfeeding from me and I don't supplement him with formula. He already eats solid food but that's all. So far, he's healthy, very active and smart. 

 

Aside from those wins I mentioned above, I'm most grateful for the win of having a strong bond between me and my children.

 

Yesterday, my youngest son said, "Thank you, Mommy."

 

"For what?" I asked.

 

"For dede (he was referring to my breasts)," he said.

 

Then, he hugged me as usual. And I kissed his forehead and his chubby cheeks.

 

My husband and I watched a movie before where the husband and wife would ask each other their high points and low points each day. We adapted it and made it our nightly habit before sleeping. Our kids eventually joined us. When our youngest son finally learned how to speak, he gamely joined in our conversations as well. Guess what his usual answer is when asked what his high point for the day was? "Dede!"

 

That has always been his answer until very recently when he would also add "playing with toy bulldozer and car" or "going to Mass."

 

Do you want to experience these winning moments also?

 

If you are a first-time parent, an expectant parent or a mom who wants to try breastfeeding for the first time or again, I invite you to join How to Win Over Breastfeeding Challenges, my upcoming talk and bok signing event on March 29, 2014 from 1 to 5 PM at the Medela House (#29 1st Street, New Manila, Q.C.). I'm excited to share with you more about how I won over my breastfeeding challenges in the past years that I had been breastfeeding my two sons. 

 

 

 

There will be another speaker as well -- Ms. Joyce Martinez. She's a registered nurse, a certified lactation consultant, and the in-house lactation counselor of Medela Moms. She was also a Lactation Manager at St. Luke's Medical Center. She conducts talks on the ABC's of Lactation Management for nurses and breastfeeding classes for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers.

Here's what will happen when you register and join this event?
* You'd be able to distinguish between breastfeeding myths and facts.
* You'll learn breastfeeding basics (breastfeeding positions, common challenges and how to handle them).
* You'll learn tips on how to win over breastfeeding challenges from the author and other moms who have triumphed over their breastfeeding challenges.

* You'll meet other moms/expectant parents who can support you in your decision to breastfeed your baby.
* You'll get a signed copy of the book Breastfeeding: A Journey Worth Taking as your hand out.

* You'll get free snacks courtesy of Mama Chows and Moringana.Pregnant and breastfeeding moms who will attend will get free lactation cookies from Mama Chows. All guests will get giveaways from Moringana and anti-skid baby socks from St. Patrick.

You'll also get a chance to win raffle prizes.

The learning fee is only P600 for individuals. Couples only need to pay P1,000. I highly recommend that moms come with their husbands because much of your success would be dependent on his support and belief in your capacity to nourish your child through your breasts. This learning fee is a small investment compared to the savings that your family will get from months or even years of breastfeeding your child. A family sometimes spends around a thousand pesos in a week for formula and that can go higher or lower depending on the brand they choose or that their pediatrician would recommend. (Thus, I also recommend that you choose a pediatrician who's a breastfeeding advocate.)

 

You may pay through bank deposit (BPI or BDO) or through Paypal.

 

You may register for the event by clicking here. 

In case you are not free on that day, please feel free to share about this event to your friends or relatives who might benefit from these talks and book.

You can also order a copy of my latest book by sending me an email at teresa@fulllifecube.com or by sending a PM at my book's Facebook Page. It's only P499 per copy plus shipping fee of P100 for Metro Manila/Luzon area and P150 for other provinces. Click like and follow so you'd get updates on future events or offers.

Let me share excerpts of what other moms who read my book say about it.

"I am thankful that Teresa thought of writing this book. It is just pure inspiration for moms who really plan to breastfeed for the first year/s of their child’s life. I recall turning to Google for answers that I needed when it came to breastfeeding, but with this book, you get so much more. You get to read not only the technicalities and the straight-forward facts, but you also get a glimpse into the life of REAL women; women who have experienced the same situations and problems. They share, not only facts, but even what they felt during these experiences." - Mommy Ginger, Mompreneur and Blogger (Click her name to read her complete book review.)

"This can actually be every nursing mom’s BFF – breastfeeding friend. It will constantly remind her that feeding her child, (who developed in her womb and came out from her body) through her breasts is indeed, one of the purest and ultimate forms of LOVE." - Mommy Amihan, Writer for Philippine Online Chronicles (Click on her name to read the full book review where she enumerated 5 reasons why my book is different from other breastfeeding books.)

 

"Breastfeeding: A Journey Worth Taking by  Teresa Gumap-as Dumadag is formatted to make reading easier for busy moms. This book is very useful for firs time breastfeeding moms and for those who are encountering some challenges. With the author’s and the shared stores, this book will inspire and empower moms to breastfeed, no matter how challenging and that breastfeeding is definitely a journey worth taking." - Mommy Que, Blogger (Click on her name to read the full book review.)

Here's an email from one of the moms who read it.

"I'm currently breastfeeding my 3week old child, and I never expected that breastfeeding will be this challenging. Thanks to your book, it has inspired and encouraged me to pursue breastfeeding." - Mommy Alica

The Best Time to Build Your Wealth - Lessons Learned after Looking Back

I conducted a Sales Training Program and a Teambuidling Workshop yesterday for a group of Managers and Supervisors for one of my clients.  I had a great time!  I love this kind of job because I'm able to help many with the work that I do.  My job as a Management and Human Resources/Training Consultant lets me inspire and motivate my participants to aspire and strive to be better in what they are doing and be the best they can be.  It also lets me teach practical and concrete ways to many how they can apply the principles and strategies I share in my workshops/trainings to reach their goals and full potential.  My participants seemed to have a great time, too!  They had many wonderful insights as we processed our activities and as they presented their own ideas during our exercises.  There was hearty laughter the whole day as we exchanged ideas and stories all the way until our dinner.

 

I love it when I hear them speak out lessons/learnings that they had as we processed our activities and how they think they can apply them in the work setting or their work place and in their personal lives.

 

Yesterday, I felt that I could identify with one of my participants as I listened to her share about her regret of not being responsible enough and careful with the money she earned in the past years.  She said this after we did an activity called Lifeline where I asked all the participants to make a line graph to illustrate their high points and low points in their professional and personal life.  She said that she could have done better in managing her finances in the past especially since she was earning much then.  But I was glad to hear that with her realization she decided to be more resposible and conscious of the way she spends her money.

 

I could relate to her experience because I was like her when I was younger and still single.  There were a lot of times that I was spending too much on things (for example buying clothes without looking at price tags, buying dresses that costs thousands of pesos, etc.) and I had "horrible" cellphone/mobile phone bills!  I had a very expensive lifestyle which afforded me a lot of luxuries then but hindered me from saving and investing money for my future.  Looking back, I can say with my participant, "I wished I have done better."  And with my current knowledge on how to build and grow my wealth, I say: "I could have a much better investment portfolio... I could have millions already by now if I had invested my money then instead of spending them on things that were not necessary."

 

But it's not yet too late.  Because although we made some mistakes in the past on how we handled our finances, we can make the right choices now and avoid the same mistakes.  That's what I love about each new day in our lives.  We can start anew.  We can move forward with hope and faith again.  We can dream new dreams.  We can set new goals.  We can change our ways and start new habits.  That's what I shared with her yesterday during our workshop and during our ride to the restaurant where we had dinner with the rest of the participants.

 

And as you read this post, whether you are single like one of my participants who shared about her regret, engaged, or you are married just like me, this is my message to you: The best time to build your wealth is NOW!  NOW that you've realized that you need to improve your financial situation so you and your loved ones can enjoy a better life and so that you can have a brighter future.

 

You might be asking by now... HOW?

 

Let BO SANCHEZ, my mentor and my husband's mentor, teach you how.  We learned from him what we now know and we continue to learn from him though our membership in Bo's Truly Rich Club.

 

Bo was once a poor missionary... no income, no savings, no investments, no businesses.  But with the help of some mentors as well, he learned new things and started new habits, started investing and venturing into business.  He's now helping others become millionaires and successful businessmen like him!  Isn't that amazing? 

 

Would you like to learn from him as well and know how you can build your wealth and secure your/your family's future?  Click here.

 

You don't need to have lots of extra money to start building your wealth.  In fact, Bo has taught and helped his maids and driver invest!  They are now on their way to becoming millionnaires as well! 

 

So, take a good look at your expenses and see where you can save and rechannel.  Review your budget and set aside an amount each month that you will use to build your wealth and secure your future and your family's future.  Had I known this stuff before and been mentored by Bo before when I was still single and earning much monthly, I could have invested at least Php2,500 to Php5,000 each month!  Why that amount?  Because that was how much I spent on my cellphone bill before!  I'm glad that I know this now and that little by little I'm able to build my wealth together with my husband through the guidance we get from our mentor Bo Sanchez of the Truly Rich Club. 

 

Act NOW!  Click here to find out more about Bo Sanchez's Truly Rich Club and let him tell you his story. 

 

Marrying for Religious Reasons

Would you say “yes” to a guy who’s courting you and agree to be his girlfriend by virtue of this guy’s reflection on a Bible passage?  You might think that it’s weird or overly religious but that’s what I did six years ago.  I said “yes” to a friend of mine who decided to court me. 

 

Let me share with you parts of the journal entry I wrote days after I made that decision.

Around past midnight of last Wednesday – that was already October 19 -- God gave me a much unexpected surprise. 

We have just attended Bible study at Greenbelt chapel.  When we arrived at my apartment, I asked him his insights on the Bible passage I asked him to meditate on, 1 Samuel 15.  I have received this passage in my prayer time and I felt strongly that it was not only for me but that I needed to share it with him.  So after much thought and prayer, I decided to give it to him.  At the back of my mind, I was thinking and quite expectant that after he reads it he would decide to stop pursuing me.  Well, aside from the fact that I wanted him to do that, I also know very well the main lesson in that passage.  It talks about King Saul’s disobedience and God’s rejection of him as king because he went ahead of God.  So, I was very surprised and I think a bit shocked when he shared his insight.

He said that he was struck with verse 17: “Even though you consider yourself of no importance, you are the leader of the tribes of Israel.  The Lord anointed you king of Israel.”  I was really taken aback when he shared that he was struck by this verse so I asked him to explain why.  His reflection surprised me even more.  I was speechless for a few moments.  I could not believe I was hearing those words from him.  What he shared was very different from my expectation.

He said that he was struck by that verse because that’s exactly how he feels particularly in his relationship with me.  He feels so unworthy of my affection especially because he knows I’m more spiritually mature than him; but because he loves me, he continues to ask God for me.  And to receive that word from God, he felt so blessed that God has anointed him.  That although it’s something that he thinks he’s undeserving, he expects in faith that God will answer his prayer.  He chooses to believe that God can give me to him.

At that point, I could no longer ignore or deny that God’s favor was upon him.  God instructed me in 2001 to use the character of King David as guide in choosing my future spouse.  I studied his life and his character so that when someone comes my way, I could discern if he has David qualities or not and that would enable me to decide whether I should choose someone or not.  I have learned that David means “God’s anointed or God’s chosen one.”  I have learned that David has a very humble heart and a very strong faith in God.  So, after hearing his insights, I realized that he has David qualities and that God has anointed him at this time for me to choose him.  So although I didn’t want to choose him initially, I chose to trust God’s wisdom and to submit to His plans because I know that God has anointed him.  I have anointed him that night after hearing God’s voice.  He’s now my boyfriend.

 
I honestly had a lot of hesitations and fears but I simply chose to abandon them and trust God completely.  I have so much faith in Him.  I know that He would not give me something that would harm or hurt me.  I know that His plans are best and that He knows me best.  I know that I could not rely on my heart because the human heart is so deceptive and unstable.  But I know that God’s heart is very reliable.  He has repeatedly told me that He sees and knows the hearts of men and so I asked Him many times in the past to show me who is worthy of my love and I would accept and rejoice in His choice.  I would be a hypocrite if I do not admit that I didn’t struggle to accept and rejoice in God’s choice.  I struggled much actually but I chose not to focus on the struggle but to focus on the truth of God’s Word.  I have always used His Word as a lamp to my feet and that night, He gave me just enough light to make another step of faith.  I thank God for the grace to say yes not only to George but more importantly to Him.

That Bible passage paved the way for me to have my FIRST and ONLY boyfriend.  Yes, you read it right.  He was my first and only boyfriend.  And I was not romantically attracted to him at first.  He was one of my good friends then and I struggled to see him as more than a friend.  He was very blessed that God endorsed him. ;)  That friendship barrier was broken eventually and I fell in love with him.

A year later, I married this guy mainly because of religious reasons.  You read it right again.  My main reasons were religious in nature.  I was already romantically attracted to him but my feelings then were just secondary.

I can give you a long explanation why I said that but since this is simply a blog entry, I will keep it a bit short.  If you are interested to know the details of my journey to married life though and you have time, you can read my book When MyBridegroom Comes and Bo Sanchez’ book 40 Stories of Finding Your One True Love, where our love story was included.    

 

Now, here are my religious reasons:

1.    I discerned that God was calling me to the married vocation and that it is in this state of life that I can love and serve God best.  Moreover, I discerned that it is in the married vocation that I would grow in faith the most.

2.    I discerned that God was calling me to love Him and express my love for Him through this man.

This may sound very spiritual to you or most people but that’s the truth. 

Last Sunday, I was surprised and happy to hear the priest say in his homily that men and women should marry mainly because of a religious or spiritual reason.  He shared that he has interviewed many couples who were planning to get married in his ministry as a priest (more than 20 years if I remember it right) and that’s one of the things he wants to hear when he interviews couples who are planning and preparing for marriage.  He further said that even romantic reasons are not enough to keep married couples together for life.  He said that all marriages should have a third party but the only third party that should be allowed in a couple’s marriage is God.  I was struck the most when the priest said that when men and women marry, it should be because he or she commits to let the woman or man he/she intends to marry to experience the love and faithfulness of God through him/her.  Wow!  It was the first time I heard that.  Looking back, now I know why my family and I celebrated Mass at Gateway suites last Sunday.  We normally celebrate Mass at PICC during The Feast but because we needed to meet someone in Gateway last Sunday, we decided that it would be practical to hear Mass there as well since there's a Mass at Gateway at 5 PM also.  I realized that God wanted me to hear that priest's homily.  :)      

This was a pleasant and delightful surprise for me.  I felt that it was God affirming and honoring me for the decision I made this same month six years ago.

So, will I choose to do the same thing if I go back in time?  Absolutely!  Not because my marriage or family life is perfect; but because I believe that marrying my husband is part of God’s perfect plan for my life.  I did not marry Mr. Perfect; but by marrying my husband, I was able to say “yes” once more to my perfect God and Father.   

How about you?  Do you think you’d marry for religious reasons as well?

Marriage Preparation Seminars

The wedding day is just the start of a couple's life together.  Thus, it is also important that ample time be invested in marriage preparation.  In fact, this is something that a couple seriously contemplating marriage must do.

My fiance and I went through a marriage discernment process with the guidance of the priest who was supposed to celebrate our wedding and some help from older married couples we know and look up to.  But even before we got engaged, we already used a very helpful tool used by Catholic churches in their Pre-Cana Seminars to help us see how compatible we were as a couple.

To help you prepare for your life together as man and wife, here are some seminars that I recommend you consider joining:

1. Pre-Cana Seminars are a must for Catholics in the Philippines.  It is usually scheduled after the canonical interview with the parish priest or the assistant parish priest of the church where the couple will wed.  Older married couples from the parish share their experiences and discuss various topics related to marriage and family life with the engaged couple during the seminar.  If you want to find out more about this seminar, just get in touch with your parish. 

Personally though, I would recommend that a soon-to-wed couple go through a marriage preparation or discernment process prior to reserving the church for their wedding or booking their reception venue.  Pre-Cana Seminars in parishes are usually done too close to the actual wedding (like around a month prior to the wedding date) and there are cases when these seminars are not enough to prepare soon-to-wed couples for the challenges and adjustments of married life.  So for those who want to invest more in their marriage preparation or those who want to discern if they should marry their current boyfriend or girlfriend before going ahead with their engagement, there are other helpful seminars and programs for you.

2. Marriage Preparation Workshop (Cana) of the Center for Family Ministries or CeFAM.  This is a two day, live-out seminar-workshop with psycho-spiritual approach for couples seriously contemplating marriage, for enganged couples, or for newly married couples who have not had the benefit of marriage preparation and are still adjusting to married life.  This was created by CeFAM to enable couples to know one another in depth and to understand the dynamics of their relationship; and to enable couples to discern their compatibility and preparedness for a lifetime.  The process and methodology used are lectures with focus on Human Maturity, Authentic Love and Value Clarification and one-on-one professionally facilitated couple dialogue on their Marriage Expectation Inventory, Interpersonal Comparison Test and Genogram (Psycho-Emotional Family Tree).  The couples’ readiness and non-readiness, compatibility and non-compatibility are highly brought to light with the use and interpretation of the counseling tools and other similar assessment instruments.  Couples who are seriously contemplating marriage are highly encouraged to attend this seminar-workshop at least 6 months to one year before their target date to marry. 

The next Marriage Preparation Workshop by CeFAM will be on July 21 and 22.  Check out the other schedules for 2012 here and the other topics covered in the workshop here.

You may get in touch with CeFAM at these numbers: 426-4289 to 92

Sources: CeFAM website and Ateneo de Manila University website

3. The Discovery Weekend (DW) is a program designed to enrich and deepen the couple's relationship and prepare them better for the sacrament of marriage.   The Discovery Weekend aims to help couples to:

• assess each one's relationship to oneself, to each other, to God and the community.
• experience, develop and deepen their relationship through a method of communication and dialogue, which they can bring into their marriage.
• witness to the many dimensions of marriage openly, honestly and realistically through a team of married couples and/or a priest.
• plan their marriage and not just their wedding.

Any couple may join the program, regardless of the status of their relationship-as long as marriage is in their minds.  They can be engaged to marry in a week's time or going steady for a short period but contemplating marriage. The weekend is not necessarily for perfectly matched couples nor is it designed to help unstable relationships.

Source: Discovery Weekend Facebook Page

4. The Catholic Engaged Encounter (CEE) is a three-day live-in marriage preparation course held in different locations in Metro Manila several times a year.  The CEE is conducted in groups by a group of married couples and a priest but couples who join the marriage preparation course are given plenty of time to discuss important and sensitive topics that can impact their future life together as a married couple.  For more information, you may in touch with  Chin & Lorna Fernandez at ceephilippines@gmail.com. 

Sources: Catholic Engaged Encounter Facebook Page and Bridal Book

Behold My Bridegroom! Come and Meet Him.

I felt that I waited for a long time before I was able to finally meet my bridegroom. I considered a number of men but no one had the faith and the strength of character to cooperate with God to fulfill His grand plans for my love life. No one gained God’s favor long enough to become my anointed bridegroom. Not until my bridegroom came…

As I’ve shared in Chapter 5 of my book When My Bridegroom Comes, I made mistakes along the way. There were times when I was attracted to the wrong men.  I had been heartbroken a number of times as well.  It was only after I have finally surrendered my love life fully to God and allowed Him to lead me by the hand that I slowly saw the light.

It wasn’t an easy journey though; for, submitting my heart and mind to God on this aspect of my life had been an inner struggle. Submitting to God meant surrendering to Him my preconceived notions or ideals about the kind of man who is best for me. It meant offering my own list of essential characteristics and preferences regarding my future husband to God and letting Him purge or overhaul that list. It was scary. But God’s grace prevailed.  I was able to trust God completely that when He reveals the final list of essentials and preferences I should look for in a future mate, these would surely lead me to the one who is best for me. All I need is to follow the standards that He has set.

In October 2001, God started revealing the character traits that I should look for in my future husband one by one. I did not always agree with God right away whenever He revealed a certain character trait to me.  I felt then that finding a man with those qualities was hard. But I took note of them in my journal just the same. God inspired me to go on a personal silent retreat for three days in October 2003 where He helped me refine my list of essentials and preferences. God enabled me to journey into the depths of my heart so I could recognize clearly what kind of man can really make me happy.

For years since that time, I have guarded this list and used it in my journey as a single lady. I have shared it only to a handful of close friends who have been my support group during those days. It was only after I got married that I revealed all the traits in my list.

King David

Here is that list. Let’s begin with the traits that are essential to me, things that I would not compromise or live without.

1. He must have the qualities of King David – humble and obedient to God, has a servant’s heart and strong faith in God, passionate and devoted to God and a man of prayer. He must exhibit humility and obedience to God by submitting his plans to Him and admitting his sins, shortcomings and wrong doings. He must be active in serving God through the Church or any community where he generously shares his time and talents to advance God’s kingdom here on earth. He must be willing to take risks and be a fool for his faith. He must on his own have a strong desire to come before God’s presence and worship Him, express his love for Him and offer Him his longings and desires.

2. He must be like Abraham who had a very strong faith to the point that he was willing to do anything that God would tell him, even if what God tells him is very difficult to follow or it meant God would make a miracle for His promise to him to be fulfilled.

3. He must have the character of Joseph, husband of Mary. He must have a strong faith like his ancestor King David. He must be righteous and a responsible husband and father. He must be a good provider and protector for his family.

4. He must have strong leadership qualities so he can lead me and our family.

5. He must be supportive of the things I’m passionate about like serving God through my talents and pursuing my profession/craft.

6. He must be a good friend of mine.

7. He must be sweet, expressive or demonstrative of his love for me. It should be obvious to me and to those around us that I am the love of his life and there is no other girl who is more important to him but me.

8. He must be a good conversationalist. He must be someone I can talk to about anything that interests me, from very intellectual issues to trivial ones.

I bargained with God beginning with the very first qualities that He revealed to me. I thought that it would be almost impossible for me to marry if I use King David as a standard. And yet God was not satisfied with that. He even added Abraham and Joseph. I had to swallow hard before accepting and finally embracing God’s guidelines. It was really a tremendous leap of faith into the impossible. It meant living the verse “There is nothing impossible with God” literally for many years.

My bridegroom serenading me
during our wedding reception.

Do you think that my list ends there? I still have a list of preferences, things that I wish my future husband would also possess. These qualities however were optional. I thought that I would be happier if he would have these qualities, too.

1. He must sing well.

2. He must also love dancing just like me.

3. He must be obviously taller than me so that when I wear heels, he would still be taller. Preferably, I should stand just around his shoulders or lips.



Dancing with my Prince Charming

4. He should be able to make me laugh. 

5. He must also love to travel. 

6. He must be someone who has been a member of a Catholic group or community for a long time. This is just a preference; because over time, I have learned that a person’s number of years of membership or service in a community is not a guarantee that he/she is a person of strong and stable faith or godly character.

7. And lastly, he must be someone I’ve known in years.

Now that you’ve read my list, I’m sure you would agree that having this list as guide in searching for my future husband would definitely be difficult if at all possible. That’s what I also thought before; but, I had to stick to this list if I wanted to be true to myself and to my God. I knew deep within that marrying a man with these essential qualities would make me truly happy. That was my heart’s deep desire as a single lady. I knew how it felt to compromise these things and I felt miserable then. (You can read about this more in Chapter 5 of my book.)  I didn’t want to make that mistake again. So, with all the faith in my heart, I journeyed with God until He led me and His anointed to finally meet face to face.

At a Singles' Conference  

I did not recognize all these qualities to be present in George right away when we met. God revealed them to me gradually. We started having a brother and sister relationship since we met at the Light of Jesus (LOJ) Community Singles group where we were both members. Our fondness for each other was brought about by the common faith in God that we shared. Then, we became co-servants as we served in the LOJ Singles Service team. After a year of serving together, I grew to admire him as a friend and brother who manifests qualities such as having a strong sense of responsibility, dedication to God and his service, generosity, humility and leadership skills. He was only new in community but he showed a sincere hunger for God and His Word and he was eager to know Him better in whatever way possible or available to him at that time.
 



Serving together at a Singles' Bowling Tournament

On our second year of membership in the LOJ Singles Service Team, he was appointed Head. It was a bit surprising considering that there were other members more “qualified” because they had been in community longer than him. But God’s choices are sometimes mysterious and He sees things differently. It was during this time that he started courting me, just before he was chosen as Head of the Service Team. I grew to respect and admire him more as I witnessed him lead and serve. I was able to see at close range how he handles difficulty, problems and challenges. I witnessed also how he treated brothers and sisters in the faith as well as strangers. In a short period of time, we became close friends but I was not romantically attracted to him then. God however would not let His anointed be defeated by rivals. God intervened, surprised me, and moved my heart that I chose him over other men as I was attracted to at that time. God removed the scales from my eyes and revealed more qualities in him that matched my list of essentials. The details of which is another story.

God continued to show me one by one over our period of courtship that he indeed possesses not some but ALL of the essential qualities I longed to find in a future mate. I was in tears when God helped me realize that. Ours was a short engagement; for shortly after I agreed to be his girlfriend, God already showed me that this man has all the qualities that will make me happy. Discovering that he also possessed most of my preferences was a bonus. The only things he was not able to satisfy in my list of preferences (to my pleasant surprise) were numbers 5 to 7 (loves to travel, a member of a church group or community for a long time and someone whom I had known more many years).



My Bridegroom, George

I thank God that He gave me the grace to give him a chance and be patient in observing him. I thank Him for the faith to accept His choice/anointed. I thank Him for teaching my heart to submit to His perfect plan. If not for His grace and His guidance, I wouldn’t have met this wonderful man who is my husband now. Truly, with God nothing is impossible!

If you’re a single lady who’s still waiting for your bridegroom to come or is not yet sure if you are with the one who is best for you, I recommend that you order a copy of my book When My Bridegroom Comes. Find inspiration from it and and learn how your journey as a single lady can be more joyful, hopeful and fulfilling. Allow God to reveal to you His perfect plan for your love life and begin your exciting journey towards finding your anointed bridegroom and one true love.

My Objectives in Writing the Book When My Bridegroom Comes

God has called me to share the lessons He has taught me in the past years as He Himself prepared me for my bridegroom. He said that the lessons I have learned were not just for me, that I am to share them with you – my sisters in the faith. He said that there is no better time for me to write this book than during my season of singleness when I am just like any other single lady out there, experiencing struggles and challenges in my love life.

My book

I wrote this book in 2005 with these objectives in mind:

· to exhort and inspire single ladies to make good use of their season of singleness to give glory to God by making use of their God-given gifts;

· to encourage and inspire single ladies to persevere and hold on in faith to God’s promise of helping them find a godly helpmate;

· to help single ladies prepare not just for their wedding day but for their married life as well; and

· to remind single ladies that more important than preparing for their human bridegroom is preparing for our Ultimate Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.

The stories and lessons that I shared in this book happened at different times in my life and they were written and compiled in my journals and in the chambers of my heart. Choosing to write this book is my way of sharing my treasures to the world for I realized that these treasures are not mine to keep. I learned that they were only entrusted to me and that I am to give them away at the appointed time. God has called me to bear much fruit and during my season of singleness, this book is one of the fruits He asked me to bear. It is my hope and my prayer that in the same way that God has nourished me with His love and His Word, you will receive nourishment from Him through this book.

I do not expect readers to agree with everything I have written in this book; but I encourage you to at least give them a try and find out for yourselves what an exciting and liberating experience it is to surrender our love life to God.

I do not promise or guarantee that you will be spared from challenges and mistakes after you read this book and put into practice the lessons that you'll learn from it. What I guarantee though is that you will have a heart more at peace, joyful and hopeful as you wait and prepare for your beloved. You will also emerge wiser and stronger as you continue to face challenges and trials.

So, order a copy now and enter into one great adventure with the God of love!