“How good the Lord is to me,” she would say, “now that he has taken away the shame that I have suffered.” (Luke 1:25, Phillips Bible)
This was the Bible verse that struck me when I read the Gospel during our 13th wedding anniversary this year.
I have read this Bible passage countless times but this is the first time that this verse struck me and I would like to share my insights and reflections with you through this blog entry.
When I was still single, many of my relatives, neighbors, officemates, and those who knew me were concerned that I have not yet found a boyfriend or husband yet. I was advancing in years and they were afraid for me that I might marry too late and will not have the chance to still bear children.
Although they meant well, their constant questions made me feel stressed.
Their words made me feel insecure and made me question myself sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? Are my standards too high or unrealistic? Do I need to be friendlier? Am I not pretty enough?
There were times when I felt ashamed that I did not have a boyfriend yet.
I thank God for the grace He has given me to endure those times. I considered those times when I felt lonely and insecure my times of desolation. For many years, it was as if I was in the desert and I was experiencing barrenness. Like Elizabeth, I bore that shame for many years. It was only by the mercy and love of God that I did not give up hope and I continued to find joy in my many years of waiting.
Those years of desolation enabled me to grow in character. There are traits that are only developed during times of difficulty. I'm glad and grateful that God helped me grow in character and beauty during those times when I felt broken. Those years of desolation prepared me for this time and season that I am in right now.
I had been married for 13 years now. My husband and I have been blessed with three beautiful and smart children.
“This is what the Lord has done for me. He has looked on me and has taken away my shame from among men.” (Luke 1:25, NLV Bible)
Those long, painful years of waiting, doing my best to endure the shame, made me value and appreciate better the gifts that I have received from the Lord when He, finally, sent my bridegroom to me to be my husband and He gave us our children.
Because I waited long to be married, I was ready to say yes to God when He asked me to leave my full-time job and be a full-time wife and mother 2 months after I got married.
Because I was diagnosed with a reproductive problem while still single, I was so thankful to God for each of my children. I only prayed that God would at least give me one child. But God, in His generosity and exceeding goodness, gave me and my husband 3 children!
That season of desolation and uncertainty during my season of singleness prepared me to give my best to my children when I had them. I probably would not be as hands-on and intentional as I am now if I did not have that diagnosis when I was still single. Because of my sickness, I grew to value the lives that were entrusted to me to carry. I valued the lives I was given to mold and raise this much.
Are you in your season of waiting and desolation? Are you still single and suffering the shame of being single and unattached or being unmarried?
I suggest that you view this season as a time of preparation and growth. Let God make you more beautiful and stronger while He breaks you. It is not easy to wait. It is painful to wait, especially when the wait is long. I know. I had been there.
But, God does not break us or allow us to suffer unnecessarily. He always has a purpose for letting things happen the way they do.
I do not claim to have a perfect family, a perfect husband, or perfect children. But they are definitely worth the long wait!
Look at Elizabeth. She waited for many decades to have a child. And look at who she was made to bear! The Bible says in Matthew 11:11 that among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist.
God made her wait and endure so much pain and shame for many decades because someone great was set apart to be her child.
So, dear sister in the faith, trust that God has someone great set apart for you in your future.
Do not resist the pain and the shame. Let these difficulties bring out the beauty that God wants to bring out in you. Let these experiences make you strong enough to be ready for what God has planned for your life.
Do not give up hope.
Just keep turning to God in your brokenness and shame. The day will come when God will take away your shame just as He did it for me. He will replace it with something much, much greater than the pain and the shame you endured.
Believe me, because I had been there and I am writing this post now to encourage and give hope to all those who have yet to receive God's deliverance.
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